Chard Report

I showed you a picture of the Rainbow Chard last time, looking eponymously colourful.  I can now report that we have eaten some of it, as an accompaniment (ie. in) Wilma Wilbury's famous fish stew.

Hmm.  I don't think either of them were improved by the experiment.  It looked very colourful, and I do like colourful food.  But..... as we say down here, there were nowt to it and it were 'ard as wood to chew.

Don't think I'll be growing that again, except perhaps (NO; just won't be growing it again)

And, aside, The Other Half, have now been and the path looks reasonably tidy again.  But it's still A Nissue (of disproportionate effort on my part and none on theirs) and I fear we aren't out of the woods yet.

There's tidy

Well, it is on my side at least, after a morning's strenuous strimming.   

Needless to say there's been no action from The Other Side.  Pah!  Don't think they've been there this last three weeks.  If it were down to them the communal path (that's communal, as in shared, both parties for the use of) would be waist high.

Wallflowers seem poor this year (probably drowned)

but on the plus side the Rainbow Chard is being, errm, colourful. 


We don't actually like it that much but I grew it just for the colour!

And what is it with beans?  This year, just like last year, I sowed my Climbing French and Runners a couple of weeks ago, possibly three weeks ago, to get 'em up and ready for planting out in full vigour in early June.  And where are they?  Nowhere to be seen, just like last year.  I'm going to have to re-do them, and then they'll be late.  Just like last year.  Are you seeing a theme yet?  Cos I am!!  Is anyone else having this problem?  Cos I'm getting a bit fed up with it.

Lush!!

But not in a good way.  I guess I shouldn't be surprised, given the amount of rain we've had (this Spring - so-called - is just Pants).  This is the entrance; it's a bit "Secret Garden" at present!!

 

and the path to the shed.

 What is the collective noun for Lovage?  A Rampart, as here.

Even the leeks are getting in on the act and bolting towards the sun, or where it was last sighted some days ago.

I fear it's gone beyond sorting out with the strimmer and needs heavier tackle.  Bring on the lawnmower; it's got a bigger engine!!

Compost de Papa

Last year I bought two Daleks from the Council, squat black Dalek-shaped compost bins. Tucked away unobtrusively behind the shed,

for the last year they've swallowed all our household compostable waste + grass clippings, raked up leaves etc. Despite being full to the brim several times they've quietly gobbled it up and asked for more.

Today I emptied the first of them. I got six big bags of lovely brown well-rotted compost

and enough leftovers to top up the 2nd Dalek and start the first off again with this year's rations. I guess this means that next Spring I can look forward to even more lovely jubbly compost. And it's all free; it's all stuff that would otherwise have been thrown away and gone to landfill. What's not to like?

And in case you're wondering about "....de Papa" the shed they're tucked behind is known, indeed labelled, as La Cave de Papa.

I'll not show you what's in it but be assured it looks and feels like a cave!

Never, Ever, At All........

.......have I used a hosepipe as early as 27th March. But the site water has been turned on, it's hot and dry-as-a-bone, and I'm paying for it. So why not?

Long story short, first find the tap. Our water connections are set into metal boxes sunk into the ground with hinged lids flush to the ground surface. There's a deeply-buried little brass tap and a separate threaded connection for a hose connection fitting. Over winter these boxes fill with silt & sediment which has to be dug out and all the fittings cleaned. Last year it fell to me to excavate it. Guess what, this year....it fell to me to excavate it.

Mind you, the year before last some bar-steward pinched my lovely brass hose connector out of the box - I guess there's no chance of THEM stepping up to do some excavating??? [Stop rambling - Editor].

Long hose short, it takes two 50 metre hoses to reach the bottom of my plot. That's a LONG hose (100 metres in fact!). But it worked and five of my six butts are now brim full of lovely clear water. My sixth butt (What is this man? Some kinda brown-rice, hippy, freak? How many butts does a regular guy have?) has a leak in the bottom (Ha! Well, where else, eh? It ain't gonna have a leak in the top) and needs repair. With concrete.

Titter ye not. Look out for a further post soon on how I've concreted my butt.

Pooped!

And so would you be if you'd:

• strimmed all my still-way-too-many paths
• emptied last year's compost bins and started this year's
• started rehabilibilitatatatatating the ancient greenhouse foundations left behind by the previous tenant.

Taking these in order:

The paths look a lot tidier, and that therefore makes me feel I've done something worthwhile

The compost bins; oh, the compost bins. Last year's bright idea was to use two old wheelie bins as compost bins, tucked away neatly at the bottom of the plot, quietly decomposing & making lots of lovely compost for this year. Which, by and large, they did and kept it all tidy and clutter-free. So what's the problem then? Getting the chuffers out again, that's the problem. I bet you've never tried moving a wheelie bin (one of which, by the way, no longer has wheels) brim full of rotted down compost, aka earth. They were VERY VERY HEAVY.

But not any more, and I shan't do that again. I'll draw a veil over the effort involved, suffice to say that Archimedes' principle of the very long lever was re-invented, along with various words probably not known to Archimedes. How many hernias does a chap need? The rotted-down compost is spread out and the remnants have started a new heap, all by themselves and without encouragement by me (I was too pooped by then and I think the remnants took pity on me).

And then (has he no limits - or sense?) I started on the eyesore at the bottom of the plot. This was clearly once a greenhouse and shed. The foundations of the greenhouse, and a central path, are still there, and there is a clear shed-shaped area next to it. Part of this year's plan is to clear it all, grow a catch-crop in the former greenhouse beds and rebuild the greenhouse, with a new shed, in the autumn. To be fair, that was last year's plan too but events just got in the way. Retired now; watch this space.

But today was about ripping the chuffing brambles out. It was hot and ideally I needed to be wearing as little clothing as possible, commensurate with public decency (shame!), but if I'd done that I'd have been ripped to shreds by the brambles. So it was hot and sweaty work.

It has, though, put me in a good place for next weekend because:

• much of the clearing is done, and;
• it's exposed all the rubbish which needs to go the skip we're having next weekend.

We're having a site skip! Skippity, skippity skip!!! One skip for 90+ allotments, for two days. I don't want to look a gift skip in the mouth and I'm genuinely pleased it's coming but I bet it'll be full to overflowing by lunchtime on the first day. Hey Ho; early start next Saturday!

Well, they're in

The vines that is.

No prizes for planting them in a straight line but, hey ho, I can train them later.

And apparently the green wax covering is normal; the vine will shrug it off as it grows. We'll see.