Allotment 81

Base over Apex

2012-01-15T17:45:00.002Z

That's what happens when you're pushing a wheelbarrow down a slope, the slope is "reet clarty" and your feet go from under you. And you lurch sideways through the raspberry patch and come to rest sitting in the contents of the wheelbarrow. Yep, you guessed it. Manure.

Hey Ho.

Done it now!

2012-01-05T11:18:00.002Z

Those of you who have been reading this blog for a long time will know that it's masthead has had the aspiration to become a vineyard almost from the beginning, along with a stern Memo to Self to get on and actually buy some vines.

The plot itself could hardly be better. It faces due south, gets all the sun, is sheltered behind by a bank of huge trees but is open enough for plenty of air circulation. And it drains freely. What have I been waiting for? Not sure, actually. But I do believe, without in any way being a fatalist, that things happen when it's the right time for them to happen.

Well, today must be the right time because I finally did something about it.

10 Rondo red grapevines are on order from Marshalls, for delivery in late Feb to early March. I could have got 25 for not much more money from another supplier but that would have tipped me over the edge from being an "allotment with vines" to a micro-vineyard. Perhaps a bridge too far at this stage! And the Council would no doubt have had a view.

Anyway, that's another strand of allotment life to report on in 2012. More later.

2011 - Good Year or Disaster?

2012-01-02T21:15:00.002Z

On balance, a Good Year.

Things I'd been on the point of giving up on finally came good.

So who was in the Hall of Fame? Step forward proudly:

Plums, Sloes, Onions, Asparagus, Strawberries. Leeks were good too, but then they always are.

And I finally gave it all some much-needed manure. Need some more now!

And who was in the Hall of Shame? Slink forward with your heads hung low:

Peas, Beans (a pretty mixed year for everyone I think), Cucumbers (what were you thinking of, Cucumbers?; pathetic) and Kale. I really miss not having Kale (yeah, I know, get a life) but a combination of me sowing it late, it germinating slowly and Cabbage Whiteys feasting on it meant it never made it through the summer.

But 2012 will be better. It's gotta be; I'm retired now. No excuses; Onward and Upward!!!

No vampires here

2011-12-31T16:20:00.003Z

I've just planted next year's Garlic, rather later than I like but still [just] this year so it can have a good dash of cod weather before planting out next spring. I'd had difficulty getting it locally but got some eventually from my old favourite Seeds of Italy. Here they all are, in the greenhouse.

There are 105 cloves, of three different varieties. Assuming they all make a bulb and that each bulb has on average 10 cloves we're looking at 1050 cloves of garlic next year. Yummy! Vampires beware!!

Pidgin for Xmas

2011-12-22T19:44:00.001Z

BigFella bilong NorthPole gettin’ antlers polished an buffin’ up red weskit. Chimneypipe bilong me all swept out bi urchins an ready for BigFella bilong NorthPole. Turkey bilong me getting fat and headin for neck wringin’. Any day damn soon!!

And a Happy Xmas to you all; you’ll never get a Xmas message like that from Her Maj.

The shortest day

2011-12-22T16:08:00.003Z

Today is the shortest day of the year; tomorrow it starts getting lighter again. Yippity Pippity! More allotment time coming up soon (well, soonish)

And this may, just possibly, perhaps, and all fingers and toes crossed, be the last year when it gets dark [here] at 4 o'clock. I'm supporting the Lighter Later campaign and the Daylight Saving Bill, so we can have longer, lighter evenings throughout the year. The obvious downside is darker mornings and I don't discount the effect of that. But, on balance, I'd still prefer lighter evenings.

There is a key Commons vote on 20th January. If you are at all interested in the campaign there's a link here.

A very sad story from long ago

2011-12-13T20:43:00.002Z

The last post introduced you to Sir Joseph Dalton Hooker, botanist. Joseph had an older brother, William, born 4^th April 1816. It’s a very sad story. William contracted ‘consumption’ and in 1839, aged only 23, (the same year as Joseph sets sail for the Antarctic on the Erebus voyage) William is sent off to Jamaica for the good of his health. The arrangement is that Willie will go out to Jamaica, build up his medical practice and then send for his wife, Isabella. There is family strife from Isabella’s parents who say that a young married couple should not be separated (they had only married in April 1839) and that if she stays [in Britain] they will not be responsible for her. Isabella says she will stay. Isabella is pregnant.

Quoting directly from Mea Allan’s The Hookers of Kew (wonderful title!!) “Only Isabella went to Greenock [outside Glasgow] to see him off, for these were their last hours together. The farewell was almost unbearable. Willie knew he would never see her again.”

Willie died on New Year’s Day 1840, aged only 24. The Hookers took Isabella in & she gave birth to Willielma on 6^th March 1840. Isabella lived on until January 1880, never re-marrying and outliving Willielma by 6 months.

Blimey, they knew how to do tear-jerkers in those days!

Willielma married in due course and had seven children, the youngest of whom died only in 1960.

Sir Joseph Dalton Hooker

2011-12-11T11:55:00.006Z

Yesterday, December 10th 2011, was the centenary of the death of one of the greatest botanists Britain has ever produced.

A long Wikipedia citation tells us that Sir Joseph Dalton Hooker was one of the greatest British botanists and exploreres of the 19th century. Darwin's closest friend, he was Director of the Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew, for twenty years, in succession to his father, Sir William Jackson Hooker.

From the age of seven Hooker attended his father's lectures at Glasgow University, where he was Regius Professor of Botany. Regular readers of this blog will know of my travels in the footsteps of another eminent botanist and plant collector, David Douglas (1799-1834). Douglas was mentored by the elder Hooker in Glasgow and in the later part of his collecting career all his collections tended to go first to Glasgow for Hooker's examination. There are many letters from Douglas to Hooker, and Douglas certainly knew the infant Joseph Dalton Hooker

The leadership of the Hookers of Kew led directly to Kew Gardens having the status and pre-eminence it enjoys today. Although burial in Westminster Abbey was offered to Sir Joseph, close to Darwin's grave, he is buried alongside his father in the churchyard of St Anne's Church on Kew Green, only a short distance from Kew Gardens.

Kew's own site also summarises Hooker's career (of course), here, and there is a further very comprehensive wesbite devoted to Hooker here.

Hope you find this interesting; all blogs need a bit of erudition from time to time!

Where ladybirds go in winter

2011-12-04T20:22:00.004Z

In any dark and sheltered spot they can find, by the look of this lot revealed when I lifted these roofing sheets from their temporary resting spot.

Interesting mix of colours and spottage. Different species perhaps?

Singalonga Bastard Trenching

2011-11-23T17:07:00.003Z

Today I are been mostly Bastard Trenching, aka Double Digging but the old name is more appropriate in, oh, so many ways.

Not familiar with Bastard Trenching? Well, let's ask Eddie Cochran to explain....

3 Steps to Bastard Trenching

Now there are three steps to Bastard Trenching
Just listen and you will plainly see
And as life travels on
And things don't grow at all
Just follow Steps 1, 2 and 3

Step 1 - You dig a trench so deeply
Step 2 - You fill it full of old poo
Step 3 - you fill it in again
Now that sure seems like Bastard Trenching to me

The formula for Bastard Trenching is very simple
Just follow the rules and you will see
And as life travels on
And things grow tall and strong
Just follow Steps 1, 2 and 3

Step 1 - You dig a trench so deeply

Step 2 -You fill it full of old poo

Step 3 - you fill it in again

Success guaranteed!

Tidying up & bringing in

2011-11-22T15:52:00.004Z

No sign of winter yet, thank goodness. This time last year we were only 10 days away from a massive dump of snow and seriously sub-zero temperatures. I recall driving up the M1 and seeing -14C on the dashboard display. By contrast, greenhouse temperatures so far are positively balmy.Hope this isn't tempting fate! Don't blame me, he added hastily, if it all goes pear-shaped.

Nevertheless it seemed prudent to start bringing in stuff which has been on the patio all summer. Everything has been cut back a bit and watering has virtually stopped. But they haven't given up on flowering.
I've also got some salad leaves on the go (Radicchio & Chard) and am about to sow some winter lettuce (in November!).

Meanwhile the Wollemi Pine looks entirely happy; the recommendation is to not repot it until the Spring.

Sunshine

2011-11-15T21:08:00.004Z

At last, some sunshine to break us free from the gloom and murk we've mostly had for the last few weeks. And so mild; look at this -

working in shirt-sleeves in mid November. I'm not normally this hardy.

I love it on days like today, when the sky is just wall-to-wall clear blue. My allotment site is backed with a big escarpment slope of mature trees and at this time of year, seen against the blue sky, they look fantatstic.
But it wasn't all lollygagging about doing a Fotherington-Tomas (Hello trees, Hello sky); I did get a couple of dozen Wallflowers in, for a bit of colour in Spring.

And, investing for the future (daft phrase - you can't invest for the past or present, by definition) I've put in another six Asparagus crowns, to supplement the dozen or so which are in already. We like Asparagus! These latest six -

you'll have to take on trust that they're in there because this is essentially just a picture of bare earth - will take a couple of years to start producing much but then they should last for twenty years (by which time I'll be 81 !!) Ye Gods, best not think too hard about that.

Leeks are still going strong, ditto red cabbage.
And today I had what are probably the last two raspberries.

Not enough to make a dish of raspers and cream, but nice anyway.

Finally, I see that it's the allotmenters trade union AGM next Monday.

At least they've made some effort to publicise it this time. With some trepidation (it's a meeting; I don't do meetings now I've retired!) I'm thinking of going to it.

You won't find this on an allotment

2011-11-13T16:27:00.003Z

When I retired a couple of weeks ago my friends at work, knowing of my botanical past, chose an excellent leaving present.

They bought me a Wollemi Pine.

Until 1994 the Wollemi Pine was known only from the fossil record, from as long as 200 million years ago. Even today there are fewer than 100 trees in the wild, in a closely protected site in Australia. But they've been successfully propagated and sold on, and now I have one.
Here it is.

It seems quite hardy and unfussy, although it doesn't like wet feet. I feel very privileged to have it and up for the challenge of making sure it thrives. For a botanist it's like having a real live dinosaur in the garden.

Wot, no Garlic?

2011-11-09T21:45:00.002Z

I seem to have missed the garlic boat. I went to the garden centre today to buy the usual three or four bulbs to start off in the autumn, because they do best after being exposed to a spell of cold weather during winter (although I've sometimes cheated by shoving them in the fridge for a fortnight).

Nary a garlic to be seen. Sold Out. Can't get any more. Sob. What's a fella to do?

I notice that Marshalls are offering garlic for planting in the spring. I guess I'll have to fall back on that.

Funny old world if you can't get garlic; I blame they vampires, putting a curse on the crop to save their own skins.

36 years ago....

2011-10-27T17:29:00.003+01:00

.....I joined the Civil Service. Today I retired from it. Wha-hey!!!!!

No excuses now about not having enough time for the allotment (or perhaps I just need to be more creative about thinking up new ones?).

My allotment notebook has been filling up steadily this year and I've been thinking about getting another. As if by magic....

One of my leaving presents. Thanks Faye; perfect timing.

If I'd been using a brushcutter, with a blade.......

2011-10-16T19:43:00.004+01:00

.....I'd now be doing a passable impression of Long John Silver.

Having just given my left leg a rather vigorous strimming at close quarters, just below the knee, (cue jumping about, cue eye-watering, cue shouts of CHUFFINELLE, cue chuffing big weals just below the knee) I am reminded precisely why I chose not to buy a brushcutter with a blade. It would have had my leg off! It's the same reason why I choose never to use a chainsaw.

Needless to say, I've been on a tidying-the-allotment theme today (no, it didn't extend to the shed roof, all too obviously from the previous post!). But I did get the hedge cut and all the paths (there are way too many paths) strimmed. It looks a lot tidier.

The leg-strimming was but the work of a moment, as these things always are, in a confined space and turning around with a running [petrol] strimmer & not paying enough attention. Hey Ho. Take more care next time.

And it was such a lovely day. Blue sky & sunshine. And the allotment is still being productive. Look at these leeks, and cabbages.

The Bishops of Llandaff are still at it too.

There really is a Bishop of Llandaff you know, I'm not just making this all up, facetious like. Here, see. In fact the Bishops of Llandaff are positively illustrious, going right back to Dubricius in 522. Curiously Roman name that, methinks. But if you look at the list of Bishops of Llandaff it's like a microcosm of British history. They start off Roman with Dubricius, go unmistakeably Celtic with Arwistil, Berthwyn and Bledri, then round about 1186 the Normans arrive with William de Saltmarsh. There's a patronising nod to the Welsh with Henry de Abergavenny in 1193. Henry de Abergavenny; I ask you? Is that tokenism or what?

But it's all de this or de that, including a couple of de Monmouths and a de Radnor, until around 1385 when the thoroughly Anglo Saxon (still conquest of a sort, of course) William Bottlesham managed to combine being Bishop of Llandaff with being Titular Bishop of Bethlehem. That would be an interesting commute.

Then it's all reassuringly straightforward until Joshua Pritchard Hughes (1903-1931) and the eponymous dahlia. It isn't clear why the dahlia was named after him. Was he a dahlia lover? Did he look like a dahlia? Did he die of a surfeit of dahlias?

Anyway, let's take stock. Today I've given you a Health & Safety tutorial, an update on the state of the allotment (and, in the previous post, the shed roof), a potted history of Welsh Bishops 522-to date, and set you a challenge to find out why the Bishop of Llandaff is named after the Bishop of Llandaff. Is that value-for-money or what?

Nos Da !!

"If you want to destroy a barn".......

2011-10-16T19:35:00.002+01:00

.....a farmer once told me, " cut an eighteen-inch square hole in the roof. Then stand back."

Within ten years the roof will be gone, and when the roof is gone..... it don't take too long before the rest of the barn follows suit. This is in The World Without Us, by Alan Weisman.

I wouldn't want you to think that I'm demonstrating the truth of this with a controlled experiment on my shed roof, but it is beginning to look that way.

I really, really need to get that new roof on!

Time passes.....

2011-09-27T20:32:00.003+01:00

....and it seems as though I haven't been to the allotment for ages and have done not-enough-work for far too long. And all of that is true. But all of that is on the cusp of change. Today is LWD15 - that's Last Working Day 15 for those of you unaware that I'm retiring soon (there surely can't be many left; I must have told everyone, everywhere??) .

So I'll have lots of allotment time. Errm? Well, that's after all The Jobs which I'm assured have been lined up, and the 2-years overdue Eurostar trip, and, and, and.

But it will be good to have more time and start to do things properly instead of in an almighty rush. I actually gave up my first allotment, almost 30 years ago, because I felt I was in a constant competition, which I wasn't going to win, with a load of pensioneeers who had all the time in the world. Ah but pensioneeeers now aren't what they were then; altogether livelier!!

All this is by way of preface to the fact that I did get to the allotment yesterday, found it to be, in Sheffield parlance, a reet tip, but left it a bit better. Here are a few before and after pics;

no prizes for guessing which is which. And I now have a sunroof in the shed (no shortage of sophistication here, I tell you).

Gotta fix that before the rains start!

Sloe-ly does it

2011-09-12T17:51:00.002+01:00

Last year I got precisely 8 sloes. 8

This year, from the same [small] tree I've got two and a half pounds of them!!!

Here they are.

Should be enough for some sloe gin this year, to accompany the blackberry whisky and the plum whatever. Speaking of plum whatever, last week I was in Slovenia and was routinely given a shot of slivovitz after every evening meal. Very tasty and just the sort of digestif we needed. The allotment, meanwhile, is still pretty dry and unproductive, sloes aside, and heading for its autumn tidy. I feel a few bonfires coming on!

Loadsaplums

2011-08-21T21:17:00.003+01:00

In common with just about everyone else I've got loadsaplums. This has been a really bumper year. This lot is just half the crop, off just one tree, and quite a spindly feeble thing at that. Some of it's branches were bent almost double and I could almost hear it sigh in relief as I took the plums off it.

So we're having Plum Crumble, Plum Bread-and Butter pudding, Plum sauce, Plum just-about- anything-you-care-to-name and the freezer is crammed full of them. Along with a good proportion of this year's blackberries and, dare I say it, some of last year's. Mind you I've seen a recipe for Blackberry Whisky which might get rid of a few of them!

And pursuing the alcohol theme, the sloes are developing slowly (sorry!!) but inexorably. They'll have a pressing appointment with a bottle of gin or two before much longer.

In the meantime everything else rumbles along slowly.

It's all desperately dry but I don't have time to get there in the evening to water and I no longer have time on my non-working Fridays and Mondays. That's because I no longer have non-working Mondays and Fridays (sob). I've volunteered to go back to full-time work over the summer to see us through a tough patch. I do miss my long weekends! But the upside is that I'll be able to retire a full month earlier. Roll on October 27th.

Meanwhile, down among the soft fruit.....

2011-07-18T20:05:00.003+01:00

.....the blackberries are going great guns.

I picked a shedload this afternoon and as everyone knows a shedload is a LOT of blackberries. The Himalayan Giants (stomp, stomp, stomp, from mighty peak to mighty peak, through the eternal snows) are getting close to the end of their season, just as the Oregon Thornless are getting into their stride.

Behind the scenes the raspberries (Autumn Bliss. Actually, no they aren't; that was a reflex reaction. They're actually Joan J) are getting going. Aside, Blogger's spellchecker suggested "Behind the scones" instead of Behind the scnes. That's not bad and I do wonder sometimes whether typos have a secret life of their own

Elsewhere, both the Blackthorn and Plum trees are living proof of the benefits of shouting at them. B#gger all last year. A good shouting at during the winter = heavy crop this year. You think I'm joking don't you? The video of me shouting at them got unaccountably mislaid, but here is the undeniable result.

Onions neglected; Cabbages attacked

2011-07-18T19:51:00.003+01:00

Conventional wisdom is that onions don't like competition. Shallow roots, relatively weak upperworks (ah yes, leaves, I knew it would come to me); they're easily put off their stride. And this year's onion bed has certainly given them some competition. I'm almost embarrassed to show you this.

But see what lies beneath.

This is certainly the best onion crop I've had for the last two or three years; in fact I was on the point of giving up attempting onions because they'd been so poor. Just think what they'd be like if I'd looked after them properly!!

Meanwhile, in Fort Brassica, the netting has worked wonders in keeping pigeons off. Look at this fine specimen of a Feldenkraut

(German shredding cabbage; it'll eventually become pointy & even bigger). But right next to is this pathetic little thing

which was once a Stonehead cabbage. So what's done for that? Caterpillars of the Cabbage White butterfly, is my guess. There aren't any visible; they're probably all lying on the ground somewhere quiet clutching their bulging tums, unable to move a muscle after gorging on my cabbages.

Anyone got a sure-fire way of dealing with them?

Meanwhile, back at the plot.......

2011-07-03T16:55:00.003+01:00

...... It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; as Dickens often observed about his own allotment.

The best, in that nothing much has died; the worst, in that nothing is doing very much either, it being so very very dry and me not having been around to water it for the last two weeks.

But it coulda been worse. I've harvested a decent crop of shallots and got a nice tidy [part of the] plot in return, although it's bone dry. And I've got the first picking of blackberries,

which are due to be eaten tonight with shortbread and a little cream.

The things I'm carefully not showing you, being a tad economical with the truth, are the onion bed (horrendously weedy), the salad bed (ditto), the runner beans (puny; hope the water will perk them up). And I've given up on the climbing french beans and the mangetout - the 3rd batch didn't germinate either!!

Mon Repos - or where's Woody?

2011-07-03T16:01:00.005+01:00

I have been away, sur mes vacances, tout seul dans la France profonde. Yeah, I know, again. Listen, somebody has to keep the travel trade going.

Not that this would contribute greatly, being an El-Cheapo trip to the Landes of Aquitaine, specifically to my favourite little town of Le Porge and my favourite campsite - Aire Naturelle de Lescarran.

Here it is: This must be the sixth time I've been there and it never changes much. Old Madame has had a stroke and Young Madame (these are relative terms, you understand) is now in charge. It still costs only threepence-three-farthing a night and the showers are still cold. It's actually €5 a night in early season (can you believe a bargain like that?) and you can get jetons to shove in a box to make the shower run warmish. But I rather like the cold showers (it's all we got in the North when I were a lad; character building), especially when the temperature is 106F.

I like to travel fairly light, as you can see, although it's possible to travel much lighter. One happy camper (quite a big bloke) arrived by bicycle with one of the tiniest tents I've ever seen. He didn't so much sleep in it as wear it.

But this has all the important elements for me - a car, a bike, a tent, a chair and a coolbox with wine, cheese etc etc.

What more could a chap need?

Well, freedom from thunderstorms at 3am would be nice. It occurred to me at said 3am that lying on the ground in a thunderstorm next to two vertical metal tent poles was perhaps not the brightest or safest place to be. Although it could have turned out to be extremely bright indeed with a faint smell of singeing and roast pork if I'd stayed there much longer. So I wimped it out in the car, resting firmly on four nice big rubbery tyres while Armageddon raged overhead.

Incidentally, speaking of roast pork, the site is sometimes visited by sangliers (wild boar). I've seen them on previous visits and although I didn't see them this time others did, and I did hear them. When something large snuffles round your tent in the middle of the night and says Oink you can put money on it having a curly little tail. It behoves one to make damn sure the sausages are packed away; don't want les sanglier finding their best mates all trussed up in sausage skins and pret a manger.

I'd happily spend all summer there (and at €5 a night I could!!) but you'd all pine for news of the allotment so I guess I'll just have to buckle down to it. Next post soon.

101 Dalmatians?, and another question

2011-06-13T20:18:00.003+01:00

Well, not exactly, the Dalmatians that is. It's just a weak link to how many Leeks I've been transplanting this morning - viz 116. Sorry, i did say it was a weak link! They've spent their formative years in a nursery bed (never underestimate the value of a good nursery education) and just look at them now.

Most of them are Musselburgh but there are about 30 which delight in the gloriously unspecific name of East European Leek. I'm sure they have a proper name but it'll be in Polish.

I've also been sticking the Bishops in a pile of poo. Alternatively, I've transplanted the Bishops of Llandaff (dahlias, don't y' know; do try to keep up), very carefully, into lovingly prepared planting holes, each with a good shovelful of sh** manure to help them on their way.

Speaking of the nursery bed, the bit not full of leeks is full of assorted saladings and they're looking pretty neat. Salads? We got 'em. Sadly, what we ain't got is successional stuff coming along behind as I have failed yet again on this key skill. Pah.

And, lest you think this is all done by pixies and elves (I wish), there was a rare sighting today of the Wilbury in all his glory.

Note the grubby knees, from hewing & delving in the earth. Note the slightly manic feature caused by exhaustion and trying to do too much too often (ah, 'twas ever thus). Finally, note the slight flicker of puzzlement as he contemplates the other big question, namely:

What happened to my peas?

To explain, I sow peas in half-round gutters. They germinate well and they transplant even better, just sliding out (I block the end with masking tape and it just peels off, mostly). But this year I've had real trouble with them.

The first batch were in the greenhouse, on the floor, and germinating well. Then, over a day or two, they weren't there any more. A-ha, I thought, chuffing mice. They do a lot of chuffing, mice; second only to rabbits.

So, sighing wearily, I started again but this time I put them on a shelf in the greenhouse to keep them out of the way of the meeces. Time passed, and some more, but no peas. What's going on here, I think to myself. Eventually, nothing to lose because they clearly aren't going to germinate, I start rooting around in the compost in the half-round gutter to see what is going on. And what do I find?

Nothing.

Nothing even faintly resembling a pea, or a half-germinated pea, or a half-decomposed pea, or a mouse-nibbled pea. Just nothing.

Now this is worrying. Either the peas have acquired the power to dematerialise from my greenhouse and rematerialise somewhere else, and are even now gracing tables at Hogwarts Academy for the Terminally Incompetent Gardener. Or, and this is worse, perhaps I only thought I sowed them and I have in fact been carefully looking after a gutter full of nothing but potting compost.

I fear that all the indications point to the latter position; indeed the men in white coats have very carefully explained this to me as they helped me to plant a 3rd gutter.

I know they're in there this time; the little beggars had better germinate!!

Hedgecutter: 1; Hosepipe: Nil

2011-06-06T21:42:00.001+01:00

When I installed a semi-permanent hosepipe on the plot, to save faffing about coiling/uncoiling it every time I wanted to use it, I carefully threaded it through the base of the hedge out of the way.

Well, that was the plan. Just about every time I cut the hedge I also cut the hosepipe.

Hedge looks great. Hosepipe doesn't. It's a good job they're easy to repair.

Memo to self - take more care next time!

Not as bad as I feared

2011-05-28T21:00:00.003+01:00

First visit to the plot this afternoon, after an absence of two and a half weeks in which it's rained quite a bit. You'll understand my trepidation. I was expecting to have to scythe my way in, grass shoulder high, tigers in the undergrowth; that sort of thing. Not a bit of it. The worst I could say is that it looked a bit unkempt. Wilma often says the same of me.

An hour with the strimmer soon saw it looking positively dapper. And nothing seems to have died or gone AWOL. Well, apart from the cherries. This was the first year in which I was expecting some and there were certainly some, quite a lot in fact, on the tree when I went on hols. Today, just a single solitary one clinging grimly on. At least I think it was clinging grimly on; it's a bit hard to tell with cherries, notoriously tight-lipped emotionally they don't give a lot away. What could be the cause? We've had a lot of high winds, apparently. Perhaps they just blowed away; the tree was swaying a lot. Or could it be birds/squirrels? Hmm, possibly, but the cherries were a long way off ripe. Either way I take two lessons from this (shrugs philosophically) - stake the tree so it don't sway about so much (should have done this already; Doh!), and net it to keep thieving blighters off (Ditto, Doh!).

The plums and sloes are holding up well on their trees, the salads are coming on well, Fort Brassica is intact and the contents are growing and the Blackberries, although listing heavily to port following the strong winds, are coming on nicely.

But I always hold the best till last (come on Wilbury, get on with it, you're such a tease).

Strawberries!!!!

Aren't they just yummy? I'm really pleased with them. They've had no protection and hardly any of them have any bird or slug damage. They're Marshmello and I can assure you they taste just as good as they look.

Fort Vancouver gardens

2011-05-28T07:20:00.003+01:00

No, we haven't run off in despair at the British weather. In fact we haven't been experiencing British weather at all. We've been on hols in Oregon. But their weather was mostly the same as ours! In some places it was decidedly worse. At Crater Lake we had snow; quite a bit of snow in fact.

But at Fort Vancouver, just outside Portland, Oregon, we had great weather.

Fort Vancouver is a [pretty good] reconstruction of the original Hudson Bay Company fort which stood on this site from the 1820s. I've been to it several times because it is a key site in the David Douglas story but Wilma Wilbury had never been.

Just outside the fort is a small facsimile of the gardens which were once there to feed the fort's inhabitants and the small army of labourers & native Americans based in the village which grew up around the fort.

The gardens are clearly only a fraction of their original size but I was pleased to see them growing Scotch Kale, peas

and spuds.

Meanwhile, nearer home, I haven't been to the allotment since we got back. But the jet lag is nearly gone now and it isn't raining much at present so I guess I must steel myself. More on the full horror of a fortnight's neglected allotment in due course.

Not so Sloe after all

2011-05-09T16:59:00.003+01:00

Remember my post last Autumn about the miserly quantity of Sloes the Blackthorn bush managed to produce? Well, if these

manage to stay on the tree we might be doing a bit better this year, and there are lots more all over it. Sloe Gin in prospect already, and it's only May! Yummy!! Plum is looking pretty good too, provided they stay on.

And in another full-on bash yesterday, I managed to transplant:

Lettuce - Green Salad Bowl
Lettuce - Lollo Rosso
Lettuce - Romaine (anybody would think we liked lettuce; well, it is a mild soporific!)
Pak Choi
Sorrel (one of this year's finds; it's got a really sharp vinegary taste. But then with a name like Rumex acetosella it would, wouldn't it? The clue is in the acetic acid bit)
Rocket
Mizuna
Stonehead Cabbage
Broccoli
Climbing French
Mangetout peas
Courgettes

In response to the hoots of derision I got last year for planting 10 courgettes, I've only planted 4 this year. Well, OK, 10 was perhaps a bit excessive! But I've got another 4 in reserve so may yet go ape on ratatouille.

I've had to build some more forts around the beans

and peas

and everything in the (now full) nursery bed

is protected too. I hate doing this but the alternative is lose everything to pigeons. Anybody got a catapult?

Fort Brassica.....

2011-05-01T21:56:00.003+01:00

.....has been rebuilt.

It's the only way to keep thieving pigeons off my cabbages. It's actually, I think, really good design. The blue hoops are external water pipe from Wickes, sold in 20m rolls and cut to length with a handsaw. The netting is pegged down at the sides, slid up the hoops to meet in the middle and joined with clothes pegs at the top. For access, just remove the clothes pegs and the netting slides smoothly down to the ground. It's by far the easiest way of using netting that I've ever worked with (ordinarily, I hate using netting!).

They, the pigeons, that is, have also been known to attack sweet peas. So here's Fort Sweet Pea,

which you'll notice has the virtue of being vertically expandable as the sweet peas grow. Nothing if not innovative here you know.

And finally, for ye who doubt the purpose of nursery beds, here are the leeks nestling in the nursery bed for a week or two.

They're almost, but not quite, ready for transplanting. So why don't I just wait a bit and transplant them to their proper home? Ah well, you'll just have to wait and see.

Provision of Allotments - a sham consultation?

2011-04-25T20:44:00.004+01:00

I've just stumbled across this, entirely by accident.

The Dept for Communities and Local Government are running a consultation on removing statutory burdens from local authorities, one of which is the statutory requirement to provide allotments.

The consultation ends today, Easter Monday. Did you know about it? I bet you didn't. Nice one, CLG. Run a consultation but don't let interested parties know you're running it, then you can claim that because there weren't any replies no-one is that interested and you can remove the statutory duty with impunity. Pah; rumbled that one, matey.

You've just about got time to write to them. And your MP.

At last

2011-04-25T20:00:00.003+01:00

It's taken a long time but I've finally managed to dig over Section 8 at the bottom of the plot. This is how it was at the start of the afternoon.

The big heap is last year's compost, thrown on it with good intentions (you can't beat a big dollop of good intentions; almost as good as a big trollop with bad intentions) to empty the space for this year's compost; but then never acted on. The whole thing was becoming an eyesore.

And that's a shame really because it's a nice enclosed bed with good soil. It's clearly been a very big cold frame at some time and every autumn I say to myself "I really must get on and build that back into a cold frame; it'll be really useful in the spring". Of course when spring comes around I've done no such thing and it's too late then.

But at least I got it dug over and the compost worked in.

You have to admit it looks better already. It's going to be a nursery bed for leeks and then for salads and possibly a few tomatoes, overspill from the greenhouse at home.

Six Butts

2011-04-18T20:42:00.003+01:00

I've got six butts.

Well, not me personally. I may have put on a bit of weight since I was positively skinny but even so, six butts. Dear me, no; how rude.

I do, though have six water butts, strategically positioned up & down the length of the plot, watering for the use of. Two of them are courtesy of Duck Dinner Dash, and much appreciated they are too.

I know you can only see five in this picture but that's because one is behind me. Technically, one is in fact a bath. No lack of amenities on this allotment, I tell you. There'll be an en-suite soon. And, yeah, I know, the one lying down (look very closely) has a hole in it. That's a hole at the bottom; obviously it has a hole at the top otherwise it wouldn't be a butt, it would be a tin. Do try to keep up.

The one with the hole in it will soon have a concrete bottom, a condition I feel sure many of us have suffered at some stage. Then it will hold water and I'll be fully up to strength butt-wise.

Levity aside, this is important because we are being exhorted to save water, use butts, water from the butts with a can and avoid watering with a hose. All very worthy if sometimes a tad misplaced. The Council seem to have this idea that we all leave sprinklers going for hours on end. I've never seen anyone using a sprinkler; no-one would let them monopolise the tap for that long. Anyway, mi' butts are full to bursting and all's well with the world.

The onions & shallots, started off in the greenhouse, are in.

The wallflowers are still flowering well, albeit nowhere near a wall.

But I'm saving the best till last. I know, what a tease.

Look at this chap.

The first Asparagus of the year. Hopefully there'll be lots more. I didn't cut any last year, to let the bed establish. I cut this one as the very last job, raced home with it and had it with my tea. Sausage, egg & chips. And asparagus. A classic combination. Remember where you heard it first!

Cherry, Cherry

2011-04-17T20:27:00.002+01:00

Well I hope so, given how many flowers there are on this cherry tree. This is it's first year flowering so I've got great hopes of lots of cherries for Wilma Wilbury later this year (you'll remember that I don't actually like cherries so planting a cherry tree is a great act of selfless devotion!) ;-)

Strimming On (or, more accurately, Off)

2011-04-10T20:02:00.003+01:00

It was one of those days, yesterday, when strimming off was just exactly the right thing to do. The grass was at the length where if I left it another week it would be too long and "a problem". The sun was hot enough to dry it out where it fell and, crucially, the boy's own wondertool which is my petrol-powered strimmer hadn't seen action since the autumn.

Needless to say, it made it's point by being reluctant to start but once firing on all cylinders (that's all 1 cylinder!) it made short work of the excess. And doesn't it look tidier? Well, all right, apart from the heap of old wood and the strategically placed manure heaplet. Have faith. The first one is going to the tip and the second will get dug in.

Mind you, I now have a touch of vibration white finger. The strimmer's reluctance to start (sorry, technical bit coming up) is probably down to it being full of stale petrol, at least 6 months old. I used to pooh-pooh the idea that petrol could "go off" but I'm coming to the conclusion that it can. Whenever any of my arsenal of power tools (that's 3 in total) are reluctant to start, fresh petrol almost always does the trick.

And then I went a-mattocking, all the live-long day, slicing the top of the overgrowth off the soil and just leaving it to crisp up. It doesn't eradicate the weeds, because it just clears the top growth and doesn't dig 'em out. But it does give them pause!

So, all in all, a good day yesterday which has left the plot looking considerably tidier. I wish I could say the same for the shed roof.

Those of you with sharp eyes will see the parlous state of the thing, not waterproof and sagging hard. I have two sheets of corrugated bitumen-y roof stuff at home to fix it. Fingers crossed; perhaps next weekend.

Progress......

2011-04-03T20:16:00.003+01:00

.....is slow. I've been "off-plot"for nearly two weeks, on assorted other duties (!), and at this time of year that's a big mistake; things (mostly weeds) just grow so fast.

But I'm back in the groove and made a good start clearing Section 1 at the very top of the hill. It has the lightest soil, fewest weeds and is closest to the manure heap. I'd hoped to finish it and get some manure in but didn't manage it.

Still, the rhubarb is roaring away. I think it's Timperley Early. It's also beginning to grow it's own Triffid. I've never seen a flower spike as big as this quite so early; that probably means it needs splitting up in the autumn. Crikey; even more rhubarb!

And things are flowering. Look at this Plum. I'm due a big crop this year because last year was a 'resting' year for the tree. The Blackthorn has almost finished flowering now and I'm hopeful of more than the 8 sloes I had from it last year. The Cherry hasn't started yet but the buds are positively fecund. And I'm very pleased with the wallflowers, which have survived a real bashing & crushing by the snow.

In just one afternoon....

2011-03-21T21:03:00.003Z

.... I cleared the brassica patch,

rough dug it, rough manured it (is there any other way?), chopped the manure in and transplanted:

Garlic - Christo
Garlic - Thermidor, and
Shallots - Jermor

All of them were started in the greenhouse in November and sat in a big sulk for nearly three months before they did anything at all. But they look good now; fingers crossed that they stay that way! When I'm transplanting I always try to make sure the plant doesn't know it's left home. Usually it works!

And look at the Lovage;

and the Rhubarb.

It's my signal of Spring, when the Lovage comes back.

And don't the raspberries look good,

every one of them wrapped up in it's own personal pile of manure. Just what the doctor ordered.

Shovelling it....

2011-03-11T15:32:00.004Z

....manure, that is. Whatever did you think I meant?

At long last I've done something about the manure-less state of this plot. The lack of ongoing fertility additions has become ever more obvious. Steps had to be taken. So Shaun arrived with his big tractor this morning and his even bigger trailer-load of manure. £25 for a big trailer load strikes me as worth every penny. And it's really good stuff; well-rotted, not like some I've seen which was still warm and reeking of ammonia. The worst I ever handled was pig manure; how did I know it was pig manure? - I found a dead piglet in it!

Anyway, back to the plot. Shaun's delivery completely blocked the access road around the allotment, greatly inconveniencing the dog walkers who also use it. Some of them are less than punctilious about cleaning up after their dogs. Some of them also occasionally forget for whom the road was made, like the one who almost felt the sharp edge of my tongue this morning.

"Is thet manure?" she asked, querulously. "Nah, luv, it's Attar of Bleedin' Roses; course it's manure. Chuffinelle." I almost said. But I was of course ineffably polite; as you'd expect, although some effable words did go through my mind.

A trailer-load of manure is a pretty daunting prospect though. You look at it and think, Lordy, Lordy, this is a piece of work. I'm never going to be able to shift this; will my back stand up to it?

But it's like eating an elephant; a bit here and a bit there and soon enough you've eaten an elephant. And probably tastier than a pile of manure.

Some of it went through a specially-created hole in the hedge.

The rest of it went in a barrow down the hill. It was easier and faster through the hole in the hedge. The barrow developed a mind of it's own going down the hill. My role was simply to cling on and skid-steer it.

Laugh? You'd have lain on the ground; I nearly did, several times.

But it all got done, in only three hours and with no undue twanging from my back (which was my greatest worry about the whole process). And here's how it looks now.

Is that a pile of manure or is it Attar of Bleedin' Roses?

Much reduced, following MOAB

2011-03-08T17:04:00.003Z

How it was

How it became

How it is

Sometimes, only a Mother Of All Bonfires will suffice.

This week I are mostly been.....

2011-03-06T14:39:00.002Z

....croaking.

Woke up one morning to find someone had crept in during the night & filled my throat with rusty razor blades. Opened my mouth & moved my lips, as for speech, and not a sound emerged.

Since then it's improved a bit and the hosepipe someone else had attached to my nose has been removed. In short, I've been full of cold and have done absolutely zilch on the alloto.

But that must change.

This week I are mostly, nay totally, not at work and thus have a pressing appointment with a pile of manure. And a new shed roof. And strimming. And seed sowing. And the garlic needs planting out.

I'm just, like, so totally not at work, yeah?

Onions

2011-02-12T17:24:00.003Z

I said last year, after a run of disappointing results with onions, that I wasn't going to grow them this year. So naturally I went to the garden centre this morning and bought some onion sets. Well, it's the sunshine, innit? Makes you all optimistical, dunnit?

Anyway, here they are.

50 Red Baron and 100 Sturon. I'm making a concession to their poor showing last year, and the year before, and..... by starting them off in the greenhouse. There are some shallots in there too, ditto.

It seems to be working well enough for the garlic and the autumn planted shallots, although they did both sit there in a sulk for nearly three months.

And I've been looking at the great survivors. I started the autumn by sowing some "winter salads", the plan being to overwinter them in the greenhouse for a running start this year, and possibly fresh salad at Xmas. Well, Ho-Ho-Ho! The extreme cold in December mostly put paid to that plan. But there were some survivors, and here they are: Radicchio, Spinach and Lollo Rossa lettuce.

There are a few Mizuna too, but that's tough as old boots anyway.

Incidentally - "Great Question of our Time" coming up - why are some garden centres so poor at something as basic as putting the price on things. Don't they understand a basic principle of retail (you offer goods for sale, tell people how much they cost, and if the price is right people give you money for them. Errm? Difficult?)? Are they just incompetent? Can they not be arsed? Why are they still in business? I'm sure I don't need to sketch the scenario out for you but be assured the goods were so priceless I didn't buy 'em. Ha!

The Pressure

2011-02-10T14:48:00.003Z

Sometimes you just don't realise just how absolutely, overwhelmingly, mind-bogglingly filthy.......... your patio is until you turn a pressure washer on it.

Here is some before and after.

And it's great fun; a real boys toy!

Especially when an incautious pigeon gets a little too close. No pigeons were harmed etc, but he is probably the cleanest he has been since the day he hatched.

Slash and Hack; Slash and Hack.....

2011-01-23T19:38:00.003Z

....and before long you'll have a pile like this. Just need some prolonged dry & windy weather to dry it out and I can have a MOAB (Mother of All Bonfires).

Elsewhere, rhubarb is back

But so are pigeons. This was once, last week, sprouting broccoli.

The one good thing in this is that it isn't mine! It's from the plot next to mine; close enough to share a loathing of pigeons.

Seed order in!!

2011-01-16T20:21:00.002Z

I like to grow something new every year. This year it's:

Limnanthes douglasii - the poached egg plant, introduced by David Douglas in 1827. Long-standing readers of this blog will understand my David Douglas obsession. For the rest of you, start in 2008. The David Douglas film documentary is almost ready for release; keep watching this space.

Sorrel

Parsnips - in truth, I've grown Parsnips before but they're a pain in the parsnip. Slow to germinate, seeds only last one year, prone to canker, don't like 'em that much. But there is an enthusiasm for hearty soups, containing.....you've guessed it.

Celery (see parsnips)

Chilli - anxious not to repeat the great Chilli Oil disaster I'm trying some chillies intended for drying

Night-scented Stoics (very hardy)

Not so much Eton Mess, as.....

2011-01-09T17:43:00.003Z

......Raspberry Mess. Look at the state of these; they were never tied in last summer, for reasons which elude me now but it was clearly a mistake.

Hey Ho, nothing half an hour with a pair of secateurs can't solve, plus a hefty dose of "must do better" for this year.

The rest of it looks reasonably tidy, providing you don't look too closely.

There's a reason the camera is pointing in that direction and it isn't only because the light was better!

Opening the account.....

2011-01-02T17:10:00.002Z

.....for 2011, that is.

Happy New Year to you all. Here's looking forward to an energetic & productive year of allotmenting. Attaboy!!!!

Two years ago today I'd just been admitted to hospital with acute appendicitis, my first hospitalisation for half a century. Today, sans appendix, I've been much busier.

No pictures, because it's just been too murky and dull, but in a packed programme this afternoon I've:

finished the end-panel of the "manure bay". Amazing what you can do with an old pallet and a couple of posts.
pruned the Blackberries (Bedford Giant & Oregon Thornless) and tied them both in. If 2010 was productive, Blackberry-wise, 2011 looks set fair to match it, if the number of fruiting canes is anything to go by
picked Leeks & Cavolo Nero to accompany tonight's roast chicken

It looks as though I'm going to have to do some more repairs on both my metal water butts. They both have a huge block of ice in them, comprising about a third of the volume, but are otherwise empty of water. They were both full before the cold weather. I suspect the entire contents have frozen and sprung a leak in the bottom seam.

It feels as though I've done something productive today, and it's now a full 12 days since the Winter Solstice - it must be starting to get light again soon? Please.

Bit of a theme here?

2010-12-29T20:13:00.004Z

Books; always lots of books at Xmas. I love it; I'd struggle to live without books and often have three or four on the go simultaneously. This year's haul included:

by the wonderfully-named Twigs Way. She has a refreshingly different take on allotments, majoring more on their place in social history than "plant yer carrots here, sunshine". She is also strong on allotments in Eastern Europe, as are the Eastern Europeans of course. Our Polish friends, before they moved to their current house, had a huge allotment with a two-storey summerhouse on it. Imagine getting away with that here. But it's a good read and I commend it to you.

But that's only one of this year's Xmas themes, and there isn't much going on at the allotment so I'll ramble off down a scenic byway for a moment. Also included in Santa's goody bag was:

I realise this may seem a tad odd, bordering more on pain than pleasure, (and nothing to do with allotments so you'll just have to indulge me in this) but I've always been keen on cycling UP hills, ideally long, hard & difficult hills. And there are some crackers in this book:

Fleet Moss - the highest road in Yorkshire
Kirkstone, Wrynose & Hardknott passes in the Lake District,
Crawleyside - out of Weardale
Winnatts Pass & Curbar Edge - in the Peak District
The Stang - out of Teesdale

Done them all, he said modestly. And a few more. But I was younger then; much younger. I think I may have had more legs to call on; I certainly had bigger legs, with bulges in places where nowadays I don't even have places.

And I've never done the Big Daddy of the British Isles - Bealach-na-Ba or Pass of the Cattle, in Wester Ross. I do recall standing at the bottom of it in 1968, aged 18, thinking Oh Lordy, No, that's just way too long & steep. But of the 100 Greatest Cycling Climbs, I find I've already done 17 of them, albeit none of them recently.

So that's the intention for 2011, to get out and up some big hills, from the list and some others. It's a challenge from my younger self to my older self, to get out & do the job properly. What's that you say? Middle-aged fool, trying to relive his lost youth? Fie, be gone ye doubters; I can do enough of that myself.

Before this whole thing gets under way of course I first need to re-instruct the cycling legs in their true function, for they have been lamentably under-used of late. I may even be tempted to do a separate cycling blog to relay progress. In the meantime, here's a pic of times past.
This is my bike on top of the Snake Pass, sometime in the early 1980s. You'll have to take my word for it that's it's my bike, because I'm taking the picture aren't I? Doh! So why didn't I just get some passer by to take the photo with me in it? Because there weren't any passers-by, is the reason; the road was officially closed to all traffic because of the snow. Except bicycles, self-evidently. It seemed like a good idea at the time; actually, it still seems like a good idea even now!!

I hope you've had a great Xmas and are likewise looking forward to 2011.

Dull and drab and dreary....

2010-12-12T17:17:00.002Z

....is what the allotment is like at present. Everything has been pressed flat by the weight of snow and frozen by -14C. But no doubt it'll recover in due course and in the meantime it's still producing leeks and cabbage.

A Cautionary Tale

2010-12-07T19:42:00.002Z

I like Chillie Oil. I grow Chillies. I've previously put home-grown Chillies in oil to make, errm, Chillie Oil. Should be simple, and it has been in the past.

Not this time.

The first two bits went well, growing the Chillies & putting them in some nice extra-virgin olive oil. But then, lateish on Saturday night, already tired & facing a long & snowy day on the road on Sunday, we noticed that the bottle was sitting in a small pool of oil.

Wilma Wilbury, brave Wilma Wilbury, investigated and, long story short, the bottle exploded in her face.

We had green, oily, chillie mess everywhere, and I do mean everywhere. All over the kitchen, over the window, the cooker, the floor, the walls, the dining table. And of course, Wilma.

Wilma is unhurt, although she did slip out of my hands a bit (the oil, you know).

It had clearly been fermenting in the bottle but fortunately the glass didn't break, just vented the oil at high pressure, but Ye Gods, what a mess. Come to think of it, I haven't looked at the ceiling; there might be some there too. And it was horrible. It was like the sort of stuff seabirds regurgitate to feed their young.

Shan't be doing that again (I've been told).

Official: Wales colder than Hudson Bay

2010-11-28T14:48:00.003Z

We've been in West Wales a lot recently on family business, and it sure felt cold. Quite how cold only became clear this morning with reports of -18C in Powys and a mere -9C on the shores of Hudson Bay.

Whatever next? Polar bears in Porthmadog? Narwhals in Narberth?

And what will this do for my garlic, which is stubbornly refusing to show at all?

It works every time

2010-10-30T17:40:00.003+01:00

I have a little Blackthorn bush
Nothing does it bear
Just a load of leaves
and thorns that get everywhere.

Which is a bit unhelpful, given that it was planted expressly to produce sloes for sloe gin. Five years it's been in and, to date, zero sloes. I've been muttering, in it's earshot, about digging it out.

And what do I find today?

Lo, a sloe; well, two actually in this shot and a further 6 elsewhere.

Now 8 sloes ain't gonna make much sloe gin, perhaps one shot, but you have to admit it's a start. They've gone to join the blackberry and apple vodka which is maturing for Xmas.

Now you see 'em

2010-10-17T19:54:00.002+01:00

Now you don't

The autumn clear-up continues. I like this time of year, when you can start to see the bones of it all again. And it's an opportunity for bonfires of course!

The great Autumn clear up....

2010-10-12T20:55:00.003+01:00

..... has started, although not before saving these fine chaps for a while longer

Q - what do you call an overgrown Courgette?

A - a Courge, of course

The hedge is cut; yeah, I know, like you're interested in a picture of a hedge. But it was hard work so you're gonna have one.

The nasturtiums are still flowering and the sun is still shining, occasionally. But mangetout, courgettes & sweet peas have hit the heap already and many more aren't far behind. Next big step? Manure!!!!

Nutkins scoffs the lot

2010-10-03T19:58:00.003+01:00

He's a cheeky little fellow;

this was barely 6 feet away from the conservatory window.

But clearly the lure of some nice fresh sunflower seeds outweighed the risk of being shouted at by Humans.
It would have been a different story if I'd caught him eating strawberries again

Doomed, we're all Doomed

2010-09-26T17:41:00.003+01:00

Well, at least the tomatoes are. The dreaded blight has got into the greenhouse and, within the space of a week, has killed or mouldered everything I hadn't already harvested (well, obviously!)

Any advice on avoiding this next year? Fewer plants (they were packed in a bit tight)? Better ventilation (I thought it was pretty good; the greenhouse was never completely closed up, even at night)? Sterilise it over the winter (Jeyes Fluid, or is that way too lethal)?

Interestingly, the two Jalapeno pepper plants are completely unaffected despite being packed in tight with the tomatoes. I guess this is another of the upsides of the powerful taste! There is a good crop but they're all still green at the moment. They've gone back into the now-cleared greenhouse to see whether they'll ripen any further.

Sheep in my Garden; what me gonna do?

2010-09-20T11:58:00.003+01:00

While Woody, Wilma & Bunty Wilbury were in Poland, Woolly Wilbury and his mates came calling.

Apparently there were 40 of them in our garden at one point.

And Woolly clearly hasn't given up on his escaping tricks; here he is out for a stroll this morning.

Dzien dobry, bloggers

2010-09-19T16:37:00.003+01:00

The Wilburys have been in Poland, and hence incommunicado, for nearly two weeks. To explain, we have family friends in south-east Poland, quite close to the Ukraine, and hadn't seen them for some time.

We had a few days in Krakow

at the beginning and a few days in Zakopane at the end but the middle period saw Woody, Wilma & Bunty Wilbury in deep Poland. This was Wilma's third visit & my second. Poland has changed enormously since Wilma's first visit, not long after the fall of communism. The food is better (in fact the food is great; don't believe any of the stories about stodgy, dumpling-based East European food) & most people are much more prosperous (it's great value too) but the traffic is much much worse.

But it was great to see our friends and we are very envious of their garden.

The last time we saw it, nine years ago, none of this existed.

The garage & house were there (the garage is a log cabin - look at the way the logs interconnect on the end walls)

but the garden was undeveloped. The well was being used as a place to keep beer cool.

I'd love a garden like this.

And a log cabin as a garage. But learning Polish is a bit of a deterrent! I think I'll stick to the allotment (which I haven't seen for a fortnight; heaven knows what that will look like now)

Do Widzenia ;>)

An Assistant

2010-08-29T17:35:00.003+01:00

Every gardener sometimes needs an Assistant.

Ideally, more energetic than this one. But it was nice to have company.

And look at this - my first Fildenkraut - aka German Shredding Cabbage.

Hope it tastes as good as it looks and hasn't got extra protein (aka slugs) secreted deep inside.

A chair, a shed & some sunshine.....

2010-08-22T20:37:00.004+01:00

....What more could a chap want?
Today has been another harvest & maintenance day. The blackberry bonanza has finally ended and the plenitude of raspberries has just begun. I do like a nice plenitude, especially of raspers.

The superfluity of courgettes continues (yeah, I know, 10 plants, what was I thinking of? Doh!)and has been joined by a glut of gherkins and cucumbers. I find it hard to tell which is which because the labels are all overgrown now and outdoor cucumbers are a bit knobbly and look like gherkins anyway, so tend to call them all gherkumbers; they all taste the same anyway!

But the rainbow chard is doing really well - look at these chaps.

No idea what it tastes like & I've never grown it before but it looks so good I'll definitely do it again.

And finally, I turned around incautiously at one point while holding the [working] strimmer (this is the maintenance bit) and inadvertently strimmed the top off one of the dahlias. The pale one in the middle is no more. Oops; I'm just glad it wasn't one of the several Bishops of Llandaff - I'd hate to be accused of Ecclesiasticide.

PS - and in a packed programme tonight, I've just lopped a chunk out of my little finger (well, one of them actually; I do have two, although at this rate perhaps not for much longer) while cutting back tomato plants. I knew those scissors were sharp but they're really sharp. Not so much "blood on the tracks" as blood on the tommyatoes. The sacrifices I make, eh?

Strawberry Fields Forever

2010-08-07T20:18:00.003+01:00

Oh, I do hope so. We bought 12 plants of Marshmello at the start of the year and had loads of strawbs from them (well, apart from those that Tufty ate!). And now they're runnering furiously so I've planted them out and dug the runners in a bit (there are at least 50).

Here's looking forward to lots of luvverly strawbs next year.

And the rose hips are coming on well too.

I'm not growing them, you understand, but they seem unusually prolific this year. As a child, growing up in the Northeast (Ee, it were 'ard, we used to eat gravel for breakfast. Breakfast? Gravel?, you were lucky etc) us kids used to collect rosehips in the Autumn and sell them to the local chemist, who despatched them to some stonking great factory to make them into Delrosa, rose-hip syrup, which they then sold back to our mothers at greater cost than us kids got for selling them to the chemist.

Errm? Something not quite right there? Why didn't we just eat the rose hips & cut out the middle man? Not sure that ever occurred to us. Perhaps they're poisonous in their 'raw' state.

Did anyone else do this?

You wanna Courgette???

2010-08-01T20:58:00.005+01:00

I've got 27 to spare.

Yes, the annual courgette glut is in full swing. Industrial quantities of ratatouille are being made (fermented?).

The gherkin glut is just beginning (a mere 13 today). Do I like gherkins? I don't know actually; I've never knowingly eaten one, and I guess I would know if I'd eaten one - they don't look the sort of chap you could eat by accident or without knowing about it!! But I saw this packet of seeds for East European Gherkins and thought they sounded worth a go. I guess I'll like them soon? What do you do with gherkins? Pickle them? Advice please. Save me from myself and the gherkin monster.

We also got the first of this year's runner beans today,

so that glut will be on the way soon. And then there'll be the climbing French. Good job we like them.

And finally, for all you cornflower lovers, here's a pic of the cornflower hedge

and the Bishop of Llandaff.

He's such a poser; gets in everywhere.

No respect

2010-08-01T17:41:00.003+01:00

Three times round the world in the 1760 & 1770s and look what happens in your home port. Seagulls crap on your head. Just no respect.

This is of course Captain Cook and we were in Whitby,

land of glorious fish and chips and kippers. The car now reeks of smoked fish but that's a small price to pay for the best kippers in Britain. Others from Craster, Arbroath etc may disagree but, look, you're just wrong. Whitby rules!!

I had one of the kippers for my tea (I am obliged by Madam Wilbury to cook it outdoors on a camping stove, otherwise the house reeks too) and very lovely it was too.

Incidentally, have I ever told you the story of Captain Cook's goat? Oh well, if you insist.

Back in 1768, when Cook was victualling the Endeavour he added to the crew a goat, to provide milk for the officers and the sick. But this was no ordinary goat. This goat had just returned from circumnavigating the globe on board the Dolphin. So, at a time when most people travelled hardly at all and often no further than the nearest market town, here was a goat which had already circumnavigated the globe once and was about to set off and do it again.

The goat, of course, to maintain a milk supply, would have had to be "put to the billy" at some stage along the journey and there would doubtless have been kids (this is kids in the goat sense, you understand). Interestingly, descendants of these kids are thought to survive on Arapawa Island, NZ, and are under threat of a cull.

Great story! Some goat!! Respect!!

Unlike some of his crew the goat came back safely a second time and settled down to an honourable retirement with Mrs Cook in the Mile End Road.

Spuds

2010-07-25T21:12:00.003+01:00

International Kidney

Grown in a bag on the patio - first of the year. I'm quite pleased with those; and they ate as good as they looked!

A letter from the Council

2010-07-25T20:48:00.002+01:00

No, not one of those "mucky plot" letters. A letter encouraging us all to use water sparingly. It was raining as the postman delivered it!

And actually I think it's a bit of a cheek. I pay for the chuffing water! Last year I used the hosepipe (a 50 meter hosepipe because the tap is so far away; that's a long hosepipe) just the once. The year before I used it just the once. But I pay the same for it regardless of how little water I use. Pah!

Now if the Council turned their attention to culling pigeons I'd be out there cheering them on.

Well, it hasn't needed watering

2010-07-19T09:01:00.003+01:00

Not long ago I was making daily visits to the allotment to avoid dust-bowl and blown-away syndrome (my Oklahoma home it blowed away). But that was then and this is now. Haven't had a day without rain for nearly two weeks now, and of course it rained on St Swithin's day. I'm not in the least bit superstitious but we do seem to be in a bit of a rut, weather-wise.

Anyway, how's the plot looking? Surprisingly good, if you aim off for the lack of weeding. I was afraid it might have all sprung back into rampant life and got away from me but it hasn't. I think it was so dry it's taken a little while to adjust back to dampness (like me, really). But if I don't weed it soon I'll have lost it until the frosts come. Hoe, Hoe, Hoe yer plot; that's the thing to do. Merrily, merrily etc.

But the beans are looking good

Both sorts

Here's a cheeky little gherkin trying not to show his face

And look at this chap.

I've got dozens just like him. Ya want blackberries; I've got blackberries. Aren't they beauties?

Cornflowers; what's not to like?

2010-07-11T21:51:00.002+01:00

Courgettes & dastardly deeds

2010-07-04T13:39:00.004+01:00

The courgette plantation is getting into it's stride.

Blackberries are looking good too.

But someone has made off with my hose connector - my good brass hose connector. Foolishly and inadvertently I'd left it attached to the water pipe the last time I used the hosepipe. The water pipe isn't exactly visible; it's set into a metal box flush with the ground so it wouldn't be on view for any passing stranger to run off with. I've left a note inside the metal box, urging its return, but I don't suppose I'll see it again. I've bought a crappy cheap plastic one instead.

Something completely different

2010-07-02T18:17:00.003+01:00

You deserve a break from all this allotmenteering. So do I. I should have been in France this week investigating the allotments of the Quiberon peninsula. But my back went into "lock-up & wince" mode and was heard to say "Camping? Sleeping on the ground? In my condition? You must be joking, matey". So I had to cancel.

But it improved over the week to the point where I could go scootering yesterday. This is the highest point between Upper Wharfedale & Wensleydale.

Next stop the bikers cafe in Hawes.

Five minutes later it was raining.

Lovage rampant

2010-06-27T21:07:00.003+01:00

Look at this. It's over 6 feet high and bearing a worrying resemblance to a triffid

I'm sadly disappointed by the plum tree though; and not for the first time. In fact the history of this plum tree is one of disappointment in four years out of five. It's only because it redeemed itself last year that it didn't find itself uprooted with extreme prejudice. But this year it's back to it's old habits; there were lots of little plums set but most of them have dropped off. These are a few of the survivors. No plum jam this year.

On a happier note the sweet peas have started flowering although they're a bit runty.

I think the whole plot is suffering from a lack of manure. Autumn job there, methinks.

Some things you only learn too late

2010-06-27T21:01:00.002+01:00

Strimming nettles while wearing shorts is not a good idea.

My legs have enough hives to start an apiary.

The mysterious case of the levitating strawberry

2010-06-25T10:17:00.003+01:00

When we looked out this morning there was a strawberry neatly perched on top of the fence, a good six feet off the ground.

How? Why? Who?

I am growing strawberries, in fact we had the first three last night, and very tasty they were too. Close examination of the fenceberry shows what look like rodent teeth marks.

Squirrel, methinks. But why didn't he eat it all? Why leave it neatly perched six feet off the ground?

Who knows what goes on in the mind of a squirrel but I've got a message for this one:

Hop it, Tufty; those are my strawberries

It was warmer than this in Kefalonia

2010-06-14T17:14:00.003+01:00

Sunday afternoon - 34C, blue sky, sunshine, souvlaki, Mythos. Yep, the Wilburys were in Kefalonia

Sunday evening - 13C, grey sky, lashing with rain, curry, Carlsberg. Yep, back in Britain.

We'd never been to Kefalonia before and expected it to be a bit like Crete, which we go to a lot. And funnily enough it was! Well, there's a surprise. But without the goats. We love goats, ideally chargrilled with a nice Greek salad, but although we saw plenty of goat poo we saw virtually no goats. Lots of bouganvillea though.

Interesting botanical fact about Bougainvillea - the flower 'petals' aren't petals at all but bracts. It's named after Louis Antoine de Bouganville (1729 - 1811).

He wrote after one battle "The very air we breathe is contagious of insensibility and hardness". It felt a bit like that as we landed in Manchester.

Early starts

2010-06-05T09:30:00.003+01:00

I thought yesterday was an early start; I was on the allotment by 8.00

Today I was there before 7.00 !! Thought I'd capitalise on the overnight shower and give everywhere a good soaking before there was any competition for the water pressure.

I could save travelling time and sleep there?

Wilma Wilbury says I may as well sleep there anyway, the amount of time I spend there. Oops.

Beans ahoy

2010-06-02T20:22:00.003+01:00

They're in. Later than I'd like but they're in. Still no joy with the Climbing French. I fear I might have to buy some (the shame, the shame).

But the nursery bed is looking good (pretentious? Moi?). Look at these leeks (strictly, leeklets!)

Later-in-the-year's Blackberries are looking good too.

And finally, every allotment should have a thing of beauty. That role is normally filled by the ever-lovely Wilma Wilbury but today she is usurped by a dog rose:

Peas, Beans & Bishops

2010-05-24T21:30:00.003+01:00

Here are the peas. Can you spot 'em?

Mangetout. Securely fenced in to keep they pigeons off. So securely fenced in I doubt I'll be able to get at them when they're ready. And the next batch were sown yesterday; successional sowings 'r us! Traditionally, I'm rubbish at successional sowings so I'm trying harder this year. I sow them in a half-round gutter, then just slide 'em in.

Beans are a different story altogether, although still legumes. Obviously. My runner beans have been very lethargic this year. sown three weeks ago & only just germinating. Very poor, chaps. Come on; arse in gear please. But even that is better than the Climbing French, who have without exception turned into Caving French. Well, they ain't come up so they musta gone down? So I've had to start again from scratch, very late, with those. Perfidious French, huh?

And as for the Bishops? Well, here's the Bishop of Llandaff.
He's a dahlia but He never showed at all last year, or the year before, when I planted the beggar outdoors in the True Sod. So this year I gave him comfy quarters in the One True Greenhouse and at least this year he's shown his face. I have two more of him lurking around and waiting to see what will happen. Lurking Bishops? Isn't there a Monty Python sketch somewhere there? Spanish Inquisition?

Oh, and I've cut the hedge.

Neat or what. Chuffing hard work though. I have a petrol hedgecutter, which is dead good but ye gods it's heavy. Like carrying a small motorbike around with you.

Dead in the Water

2010-05-21T20:08:00.002+01:00

Sadly, that's exactly what this little fella was

Travelling vicariously

2010-05-15T19:24:00.002+01:00

I've been all over the world this week, starting in Abyssinia, and the Danakil Depression. Later I went to the Hindu Kush and the marshes of southern Iraq. Along the way I called in at Austin, Texas and Saltaire, Yorkshire, and the CAMRA Pub of the Year (twice), before ending at Heeley & District Allotment Society. Crikey.

To explain, for my 60th birthday Wilma Wilbury bought me membership of the Royal Geographical Society.. They have a lecture programme every Monday evening, and last Monday's was by the biographer of Sir Wilfred Thesiger. I read Arabian Sands, Thesiger's masterwork on the crossing of the Empty Quarter, when I was 13 and it's never left me. Thesiger was born in Abyssinia in 1910 and, well you can work out the rest for yourselves.

Austin, Texas was courtesy of the Hot Club of Cowtown, gigging at the Victoria Hall, Saltaire. I'm in danger of (danger of? I am!) becoming a groupie. Go see 'em.

The Kelham Island Tavern is in Sheffield's "Beer Alley" and the Heeley & District Allotment Society Plant Sale is courtesy of my fellow-blogger, Michelle. Good to meet you this morning.

Phew; I need a rest after all that. I am 60 you know!!

Not too bad....

2010-05-09T21:06:00.003+01:00

.....at the allotment either.

Massive strimmage yesterday left it reasonably tidy but today saw a major dig-out of one of my many bindweed plantations. I got two barrowloads of bindweed out of one bed. But it was worth it; I was able to plant the first batch of salad leaves. Red Cos, Green Salad Bowl & Lollo Rossa lettuce, along with some Pac Choi, all suitably pigeon-proofed.

Rest of it doesn't look too bad either, if you ignore the big pile of manky old sticks due for burning.

The Factory

2010-05-09T21:02:00.003+01:00

At this time of year a greenhouse is just a seed and plant factory. I'm just soooo glad I've got one again.

On this day.....

2010-05-03T21:22:00.002+01:00

.....9 years ago I flew to New York. The Winston Churchill Memorial Trust had given me a grant of £6000 to fund a 2 month journey following in the footsteps of David Douglas, botanist and plant collector (1799-1834).

I can truthfully say it changed, and continues to change, my life. Regular readers of this blog over the last couple of years will have seen some of those adventures and subsequent trips.

My great regret in connection with this is that my father never knew about it. He died 4 years before I set off, but would have loved to hear about it. He hardly travelled at all and in many ways I travel in his name. Tomorrow is his birthday; he would have been 95.

Love that Lovage

2010-05-03T17:38:00.002+01:00

Now that's what I call Lovage. Really getting into its stride now, 3 years on and 3 feet high.

More Spuds

2010-05-03T17:35:00.001+01:00

Well, we like new potatoes.

Tatty Bags

2010-05-03T16:39:00.002+01:00

Here's the cunning plan to have Jersey Royals (or International Kidneys, to give them their non-protected name) on tap. Looking forward to them already.

So cold

2010-05-02T14:35:00.003+01:00

Today was the start of this year's cycling

11 miles round Rother Valley Country Park and the Transpennine Trail. But so cold.

These chaps looked cold too.

Partialled

2010-05-02T14:01:00.002+01:00

I've been partialled!

Last Friday was my last working Friday. I've taken partial retirement and now work three days a week - Tues, Weds, Thurs.

Summer is coming, I'm only working three days a week, what's not to like?

Return of the Greenhouse

2010-04-18T21:15:00.004+01:00

I had a greenhouse at our previous house and left it behind when we moved; too difficult to dismantle and remove.

I've missed it since the day we moved, but no more; I've spent the weekend assembling my 60th birthday present to myself - a 6ft x 8ft greenhouse.

It hasn't been the easiest of jobs.

The instructions were clearly written by someone who was completely familiar with the task and all the various complex shaped and almost identical components, which is always a mistake.

I think instructions are best written by (and certainly for) a complete idiot who has never done the job before. I managed to keep the air relatively clean, even though some bits turned out to be assembled in mirror-image format and had to be dismantled & remantled. Some bits turned out to be upside down; not much use when you're trying to hang a door from them. Other bits, which were actually correct, had to be disconnected in order to fit later bits of the assembly. Did the instructions mention that at any point? Not a word.

I'm not usually cack-handed at this sort of thing; I have a Masters in IKEA assembling. And I couldn't have done it without Wilma Wilbury's assistance; just didn't have enough hands. Even with the two of us we didn't have quite enough hands and had to use masking tape to stop things wibbling into the wrong place.

But it went together eventually

and after a spot of heavy lifting it moved off the patio and into it's home in the garden.

Phew!

It's now about two-thirds glazed; need to get on with it because I've got plants queueing up to get into it. And a pigeon has already christened it!!

Pah!!

2010-04-18T19:37:00.002+01:00

..... just missed being stranded in the USA for weeks on end. I flew back on Tuesday (upgraded to Club Class; thanks BA, could get used to that) and the volcano blew on Thursday. Just two days it needed to wait but no, I'll have to go back to work tomorrow.

Pah, indeed!!

On this day, in 1825....

2010-04-10T05:40:00.003+01:00

.... David Douglas, botanist & plant collector (1799-1834) first set foot in the Pacific NorthWest, at the mouth of the Columbia River. His journal records:

April 8th 1825, I went on shore on Cape Disappointment. Constant heavy rain, cold, thermometer 47deg.

One half of the Wilburys is in Oregon, launching the film "Finding David Douglas" at the World Forestry Centre, Portland. Guess what the weather was like 185 years later. Yep; you got it.

Wilma Wilbury remains at home and, counter-intuitively, has taken the opportunity to remove a Douglas introduction from the garden.

Sitka Spruce are a mainstay of the UK forestry industry but are NBG at all when planted too close to the house by the previous owner and left to grow , and grow, and grow. The garden looks better already, I'm told.

Asparagus

2010-04-03T21:12:00.003+01:00

Last year's attempt at Asparagus was so poor (rubbish crowns, poor preparation, done in haste, predictable result) that it warrants another go. So here it is:

Before

During - funny looking things aren't they. The asparagus-eating spider crabs have landed!!

After

And look at this - the first proper "produce" of the season.

I feel a rhubarb crumble coming on. Yeah, I know, waistline. Phooey. What's the point of growing the beggars if ya don't eat 'em? And who can resist a rhubarb crumble.

And finally, doesn't this look neat?

I'm quite chuffed with just how neat & tidy this looks. Mind you, the bit behind me which you can't see tells another story!

Almost a codger

2010-03-21T17:21:00.004Z

Today is my last Sunday in my fifties. I have a significant birthday imminent and next time I post anything here I'll be 60. I already have my bus pass. Bus Pass!!; Ye Gods, I've got a bus pass. How did that happen? Still, I suppose it'll be useful for going to & from the pub!

But does this involve pipe & slippers and "slowing down a bit"? No it don't. There is a standing instruction in our house that if I am ever heard to utter the sentence "I could really do with a nice pair of slippers", Wilma Wilbury rushes me straight to the canal and a fitting for some concrete wellies. I hate slippers.

Anyway, not only is it my last in my fifties it's also the Vernal Equinox, when the days are now longer than the nights. And about time too. Two key signs of vernal equinox on the plot:

Lovage is back

I always feel better when the Lovage (Maggikraut in Dutch) reappears.

And the garlic, planted on Wilma's birthday at the Autumn Equinox, is doing really well. Just look at these.

What a difference a week makes

2010-03-21T17:15:00.004Z

Last Sunday

Today

Go, Rhubarb, Go

At last

2010-03-14T17:51:00.002Z

I've finally got some sowing done. It feels as though I'm miles behind, but then so is everyone else. No point sowing stuff when it's been so cold. But today the season has opened, in a small way, with:

Tomatoes
Monte Carlo, Lilliput (cherry type) & Astro Plum - all F1 hybrids from Seeds of Italy

Cabbage
Stonehead, red Drumhead & Filderkraut (some kind of German shredding cabbage apparently? We'll see!)

And a good dollop of Sweet Peas.

I've put them all in a seed mixture I've not tried before, courtesy of Jane Perrone's Allotment Keeper's Handbook, viz:

2 handfuls of 'normal' potting compost
1 handful of Vermiculite
1 handful of Silver Sand

It looks good & handles well. Fingers crossed; no pressure there then, Jane!

I've also moved the strawberry plants out of the conservatory into the cold frame, resurrected from winter quarters, buried in old crap behind the shed. The conservatory itself is bursting with plug plants I'm growing on:

Geraniums x24
Begonia x20
Impatiens x24
Petunia (ordinary) x20 (and a bit scabby cos I let them dry out)
Petunia (Surfinia) x8
Nepeta x8
Fuchsia (upright) x8

They're all still quite titchy of course but they'll grow; oh lordy, how they'll grow. Wish I had a greenhouse.

Fame!!

2010-03-11T20:01:00.002Z

Allotment 81 goes mega!!

I'm in The Times today in the Daily Universal Register.

I've no idea who suggested it but many thanks to whoever you are. Now I need to work harder at keeping you all up to date.

Selfless, or what?

2010-02-28T20:30:00.003Z

This bare and unprepossessing stick is a Cherry tree, freshly planted this afternoon.

So what? So what's selfless about that, you cry.

I don't like cherries!

But Mrs Wilbury does.

Coppicing

2010-01-31T17:49:00.003Z

A new pruning saw made short work of coppicing the Hazel bush.

Before

After

And look at all this blue sky. It was blooming cold but it's so much more bearable in sunshine!

And I've finally got around to harvesting the runner bean seeds which I'd semi-intentionally allowed to dry off on the plants over winter. Do you think this will be enough?!!!

Proper Work

2010-01-17T14:10:00.002Z

At last. Snow has gone, pretty much, and I've managed the first visit to the allotment this year. Happy 2010, Allotment.

And in a packed morning I've:

paid my subs to the Hut (£2)
picked some leeks
pruned the Autumn Bliss raspberries (you see - Proper Work!), and
started to coppice the Hazel bush.

Crikey. And now the sun is beginning to shine and the days are noticeably beginning to, perhaps lighten is putting too strong, but get less dark so early is definitely happening. Sunshine; love it.

International Kidney?

2010-01-16T19:50:00.002Z

No, not some dubious overseas transplant scam. It turns out this is the 'proper' name for Jersey Royals.

Errm, why?

I suspect the people of Jersey have trademarked Jersey Royals, leading to this truly intuitive alternative name.

Oh, and I've bought some! Chitting ahoy!!!

Don't Look Down

2010-01-10T21:06:00.003Z

Says it all really, but this is from Austria in September. If I'd come off that ladder it was a long way down. Strange how cheerful I look. But I WAS concentrating hard!

'Tis the season.....

2009-12-24T13:51:00.002Z

...... to wish you all a very Merry Xmas, and here's looking forward to a great 2010 in the allotment!

Enjoy, eat, drink, be merry. Fa la la la La, fa la la laaah.

Woody

This is how to treat Garlic

2009-12-20T20:31:00.001Z

It likes a good cold snap over winter.

Good job really